Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  43

  At a regional convention today....

  by Nobodyspecial in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it really stands out to me just how phoney the bonds of forced brotherhood are.

  the smiles are paper thin when they see each other in hotels.

  the laughs forced.

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  Sail Away

  So true. During my last years in, the "cult-approved lifestyle" lead to severe-recurrent clinical depression, panic attacks and loneliness surrounded by "friends".
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  47

  The 1975 Generation---are they still around?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was raised as a jw and 1975 expectations were pretty intense.

  as i recall, most people did not leave after the failed expectations but many s l o w e d down.

  now, i think most of the 1975 witnesses are gone or barely in.. is the older generation still around in the kingdom halls or are they much gone?.

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  Sail Away

  My in-laws are in their early 90's and are still in. Their son (Bethelite in mid-70's), DIL (me, 16 in 1975) and their grandchildren (raised in) are all out. Their great grandson was brought free of the cult. They will never meet him, as they are in shunning mode.
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  135

  I've been found out!

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, thats it folks.. my identity on here has been rumbled and reported to the elders.

  someone, somehow, has figured out that im a member of this site and - rather than speak to me - has promptly reported me to the elders.

  i just feel sad for my daughter.

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  Sail Away

  As for my wifes family... well coincidentally they've invited my wife round. She's told me she's staying there tonight with my daughter. To be honest i could do with the head space. I know what comes next, daddy elder will fill her head with bullshit.

  "Coincidentally"??? I think not. This concerns me deeply. Alarms bells are going off! Your wife and child need to be with you!
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  20

  Differences Between Ex-JWs

  by David_Jay in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  we are not all the same--a real "duh, david!

  so i figured if i didn't feel that sense of solidarity that seems missing among the debating, then i was part of the problem.

  i'm responsible for making this place feel like a support and place of solidarity, just as much as anyone else.. but approaches i tried didn't work until i shut up for a while.

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  Sail Away

  Terry Walstrom-- Suffering, panic, loss are profoundly subjective experiences. How we cope and adapt and what we become in the long run as a result, may well be a measure of our character more than our trauma.

  Terry, as someone with PTSD, I would substitute the word resilience for character.

  I do agree with this statement:

  Terry Walstrom-- It is only us here. Now.
  The path we take is of our own making. The same brain-machine inside our skull which caused us to fall victim to the cult is STILL THERE. Unless we replace the parts, one by one, we surely end up in the same place again, and again, an again with different labels attached to the same delusion.

  Phizzy-- I was a lover of truth, still am, and left because there simply is no truth in the JW "religion". Not truth in the real sense of the word.
  I am not bitter, I do regret that I did not wake up much earlier in life and so make better life choices, but what happened, happened.

  Phizzy, this was and is my experience. I had long-standing doctrinal issues that were compounded by the very real pain of recognizing the hypocrisy present in the religion I chose for myself as a pre-teen. I simply wanted to do what was right and to please God. I was a true believer, and I was a sincere student of the Bible to the extent that my level of education allowed. I wanted to help people, and most of all I wanted the stable, happy family life that JWs promised. I was misguided. When the organization nearly destroyed my family I was done. There is a fair amount of regret that I imposed this pain on myself, my marriage and my children.

  I find this statement to be more than a little judgmental and harsh:

  Phizzy-- When I left, I set out to educate myself, so studied Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Theory etc etc, all as an "armchair scholar".
  I was astounded that other ex-JW's did not do this, and came on Sites like this and displayed their appalling ignorance, and their prejudices.
  But I was known as a "studious type", I guess such people are still as lazy now as when they were JW's, not finding anything out for themselves, not reading, not even thinking !
  This is sad, the freedom one gets by walking away from a High Control Cult like the JWs should not be wasted by wallowing in ignorance.

  Everyone’s path out is different. I do not consider myself lazy or to be wallowing in ignorance. I refuse to let choices I made as a pre-teen and teen continue to absorb the little time I have left on this planet. I did an intensive examination of my beliefs after I walked away—not to justify my leaving, but to answer the question: Just what do I believe to be true now? The answers I came up with are for another thread. What I decided in the end was I am not interested in studying Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Therory, etc. I am interested in enjoying the freedom I have, loving my family and developing skills and talents that I was not able to during those lost years.

  Great Post David Jay!

  Diane
  
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  21

  For Dog Lovers-- Meet Stanley!

  by Sail Away in

  1. social
  2. humour

  have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?

  i have; his name was dave matthews.

  we loved him anyway.

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  Sail Away

  rebelfighter, my little girl refuses to go out in the rain; it messes up her beautiful curls!

  Nathan Natas, I agree that Stanley was likely abused or neglected as a pup. He is not my dog. I just wanted to share his story because it made me laugh and warmed my heart. Every single one of my rescue dgs and cats had behavioral issues and quirks. It is understandable since they were likely abused or abandonned. Dogs thrive on love and are bonded to their family.

  can'tleave, Cookie looks so full of joy! Rescue animals can bring us so much happiness. It's worth embracing their quirks.
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  67

  EdenOne, Mrs. Eden & Son: DISASSOCIATED!

  by EdenOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  great news!.

  we are free!.

  as of the 9th of june, me and my dear wife mrs. eden handed over our letters of disassociation at bethel in portugal, thus making official our departure from the jehovah's witnesses.

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  Sail Away

  Enjoy your freedom! So glad your family is out too!
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  26

  Can a Person Resign From Being One of Jehovah’s Witnesses? (JW.org FAQ)

  by Da.Furious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  found this in my rss feed of, as new faq on jw.org:.

  the answer was .

  a person can resign from our organization in two ways:.

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  Sail Away

  I resigned and threatened legal action if they announced my name from the platform. So far I am not officially being shunned. Old JW friends will say hello and chat in public when we meet. That's all I really wanted. I didn't want to deal with public shunning in my small town.

  Of course, not one of my lifelong "friends" will actually initiate contact, because I've been out for nearly five years. I imagine things will change for the worse with the message of loyalty being hammered into their brains at the Regional Conventions this year.

  I can't wait to retire and get out of dodge. I'm noticing more and more carts in my area. Saw another today with two sisters dressed like cult drones. It makes my blood boil. I hate being reminded of all of those lost years and of the pain inflicted on our family. At least I have a safe place to go grocery shopping-- Fresh Market doesn't allow distribution of literature of any kind on the premises. If they show up at the town Farmers' Market I might just lose it!
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  21

  For Dog Lovers-- Meet Stanley!

  by Sail Away in

  1. social
  2. humour

  have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?

  i have; his name was dave matthews.

  we loved him anyway.

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  Sail Away

  Sorry to be so late in getting back to this thread!

  Cangie, LOL! Thanks for the laugh. Give a call sometime this weekend. We need to catch up!

  rebelfighter, my daughter and son-in-law have to labs. The same thing happened to them. The first time I saw the size of the pups paws, I knew they were in trouble-- now 120 lbs. each! So sorry your baby was traumatized by the boat. :(

  panhandlegirl, nice to see you back on the forum! Yes, we love them no matter what! My shih tzu poodle mix Emma is the first dog I actually paid for. I always had rescue dogs/cats before her, but decided I was getting too old to deal with large dogs with issues. I trained her from a pup, and she is the best dog I have ever had!

  Diane

  GrreatTeacher, some sneezes can be intimidating! My husband's is so loud it rattles the roof. One of his Bethel buddies back in the day referred to it as "the call of the wild pit mongoose". I kid you not. Glad you wuz your kitty anyway! My favorite cat was named Oliver. He looked like he was wearing a tux and was a love. RIP Ollie Cat.
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  44

  For those who are still in... What do you do about field service?

  by Wait For It in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of you who are still in because of family circumstances, what do you do about field service?

  do you still go regularly, sporadically or not at all?.

  if you do still go, how do you manage?

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  Sail Away

  First of all, the regular pioneers in my former congo employed all of WiFiBandit's methods, so now I'm wondering if any of them are actually awake!

  Two years before I walked away I stated a "Bible Study" with a young married mother. I just couldn't in good conscience "teach" her from the Bible Teach book. I even went to the conductor of the TMS at the time and told him I just couldn't cause her the kind of pain I felt in raising children with an "unbelieving mate". The elder said, "Well, at least she would have Jehovah." and walked away. Fortunately, she got a job and couldn't meet with me any more. Sigh of relief.

  I decided I needed a new plan. Doing "service" the way the pioneers did it was such a waste of time and gas money (mine), as I was always the one to drive, because I had a good "service car". I noticed that they were always harping on doing business territory to get it caught up before the C.O. came, so I made that my mission. Trust me, no one wants do do business territory, so you will be on your own.

  Walk in the door, assess the situation, and walk out if they are too busy or just decide it's time for another coffee. Leave old mags in church doors for a laugh. If you are a female, you will be advised not to go to garages, because of all the porn hung up on the walls. I kid you not. This was a directive from the C.O. IMO, pretend business territory is the way to go! Worked for me!
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  21

  For Dog Lovers-- Meet Stanley!

  by Sail Away in

  1. social
  2. humour

  have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?

  i have; his name was dave matthews.

  we loved him anyway.

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  Sail Away

  LisaRose, It's the mutts that steal our hearts! My son picked him out because he was the most pathetic dog at the pound, and that's how my son felt himself at the time. Dave was a true healer-- heart of gold. RIP Dave